Well its time for me to be honest with my self. September was a wasted month. Effectively nothing forwarding my longer term goals was accomplished. I can not blame external forces. These failures were all mine. A cold that lasted much longer then I would like, gave me the excuse to slack off for part of the month. Minecraft, a game wedged it self in my weak mind and sucked up even more time (Joe, I admit it its not minecraft's fault).
I made other foolish choices. A set of decisions at the end of august or start of september put two opportunities in conflict. One was a reasonably likely geology gig in the Yukon, the other an interview with a instrument company. I admit that I want to step away from exploration geology as a career, but a 2 to 3 week job, and a chance to see the Yukon is a foolish thing to skip out on. I feel that I botched the interview, its nearly two weeks and not a peep back. The conflict was between the opportunities was of my own creation, I could have arranged the interview later, by the time I started wrangling the people to get me that interview I knew the time line of Yukon job and could have done things differently.
The interview was approached with false confidence and being under prepared, add to that I was in the tail end of the cold and life was not at its best. I did some research prior but still got stonewalled at some basic questions. One question that got me was about where I saw my self in N number of years. It was pointed out to me that I should have had a vision as to where I was going after BCIT, with the diploma form there. The truth which is I wanted an office job, to get away form the periodic exile that geology can cause so I that I could have a more balanced life, would not have fit the expectations. With greater knowledge of the prospects there it became possible to question if the opportunity was a good fit. There is uncertainty about weather my current thinking that role fit. Either I gained enough knowledge to conclude that the role was not right for me because the technical and creative aspects were above me, or I have retrofitted those thoughts on to it because I have not heard back.
When I step away from my attempts at a professional life, September was good month. By and large I ate well. I cooked some new things. I have gone out to pubs, I have started to establish my self as a regular in one or two places and have a greater sense of community. I got someones phone number but forgot to call her because well I realized I felt no chemistry, I can only throttle back my geek so for. Bike rides, kayak adventures, walks and other activities killed some of the time, at least I don't feel as much like the dough boy. As a Dough boy, the best loaf of bread to come out of my kitchen was created last week.
From the inside of my head things were up and down and backwards. The backwards was the worst. The earlier half of the month, confirmation bias a side, saw me dreaming about my ex girlfriend, some of those thoughts have leaked into waking. If living in Vancouver means one thing in my life its moving forward and the motivation to chase away that past from the front of my mind is a good starting point for getting out the funk I drifted into. To be fair there is a place for those memories and emotions just not in quantity or persistently.
Thats all for now.
In the past this would have ended up in a bound note book in an illegible scribble.